The sweetest spot

Theree comes a time in any season that makes me ache. I cant describe the feeling accurately, but it's like a cavity opens up in my chest and I start wishing so badly for something unintelligible and unidentifiable. It may be described as nostalgia, but there's no real memory I'm yearning for. Rather, it's the expectation of something beautiful to cmme, the promise of contentment and happiness that seems so illusive. I have hit that sweet spot in track; races seem enjoyable, but only a shadow of the joy that should come with running. Right now, I have made the mental shift into summer, and there's no going back. I'm looking forward to solitary runs through the wooded park by my house, relaxed group runs over the hills fields at the park center, and lake runs complete with a post- workout dip in the water. But more than just these simple pleasures, there's the element of freedom that I cannot grasp until track and school are over. Oddly enough, this isn't killing my motivation to race. My race today seemed like a step towards liberation, the beginning of the last few bittersweet challenges to complete before rounding out a season and moving on to the next exciting thing. Maybe it's the weather, or the sudden taste of freedom I have after AP tests, or the promise of new life budding in my garden. Either way, I can't shake this feeling of the promise of what is to come. Hope is a crazy thing. Speaking of what is to come, though, the college question is close on the horizon. I'll have to decide where to go and what to do there, and college running is always a question. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to run really competitively, but a club or a d-three school would be really fun. I'm planning to research some different options and post on that, but with a meet lasting until nine tonight, I'm very tired. So... Until tomorrow, happy running!

Let it grow

In celebration of Mothers' Day, my mom and I worked out in the garden. I'm very new to the hobby, but it was paased down from my mother's mother, who learned from her German-Russian farming mother, who learned from her German farming mother, back through a matrimonial line probably dating back to the garden of Eden. In essence, this cultivation gene should be in my DNA, I just have yet to have attempt it. My mom knew I wanted to plant vegetables on my plot of land so she picked up an array of edible plants: carrots, peas, summer squash, herbs, tomatoes, peppers, and numerous leafy greens. The seeds are, at this moment, sitting under a layer of rich black dirt, nicely doused with water and in the company of numerous worms. They could even have rhizomes curiously breaking out of their seed coats, using the reserves of energy from their endosperm to germinate and eventually sprout tiny leaves. I'm so excited for the day when I see little baby plants poking out of the ground! I started researching gardening in an attempt to ensure I would measure up to the standards of my lineage. While poking around on the web, I found a site detailing the benefits of gardening. Who knew-- in addition to yielding beautiful and delicious crops, tending a garden is really healthy! Obviously getting some fresh air is good for anyone, as is the mental relaxation that comes with playing in the dirt, but there are far more benefits. Bending over the garden incorporates stretches almost akin to yoga, gently working the muscles withou having to take the time to sit down and stretch for a painstakingly boring period of time. Also, squatting can be a little bit of strength along with the weightlifting involved in moving a 40 pound bag of fortified soil from the shed to the distant vegetable patch. Overall this new hobby of mine is seeming better and better with every new aspect I learn about. I'll keep occasional updates on days such as this where I don't run. Also check out the updates to the site if you'd like and check back tomorrow for a great cupcake recipe! Until then, happy Mother's Day!

More or less?

Saturday running is officially my favorite. The conventional long run that comes on the weekends is always so relaxing. As the mikes melt by under my feet I feel the stress of the week falling away with every footfall. We went for our long run this morning at the nature reserve nearby, filled with rolling hills and soft paths to ease the stress on our legs. The run was also shorter than my recent long runs on account of the impending taper, thus my whole body feels slightly less worn down that it has lately. Running up the continuous hills, however, I noticed a difference in my stride. I know that during cross country I consciously changed my gait from low, smooth steps to more aggressive movements, but I never noticed that between the fall and springing had subconsciously switched back. Literally, I have some old pictures from races where I look like I'm speed walking. I attribute it to Nordic, since classic technique involves long and low movements to allow the body to almost fall forward. Running, on the other hand, requires mid-foot strikes and driven knees. Lately I've been running like I ski. Running form is a widely popular topic in the running community. The recent spike in barefoot running and natural shoes raises questions about the traditional function of shoes. Way back when, many people believed that shoes were meant to correct poor form. Neutral shoes were for people who didn't need corrections, while pronators and supinators bought shoes to encourage better motion. In the past few years, people have begun to favor shoes that allow the foot to move naturally-- often to the chagrin of other runners. Personally, I am of the opinion that traditional shoes with plenty of cushioning are the best bet. I am a tried and true Asics fan, and would never jeopardize my health to try the new fad, but am curious about the relative benefits of each style. Here's what I've learned: The natural craze: This includes minimalist shoes and completely barefoot running. Born to Run, a book about shoeless running, brought this option into the limelight and it has since taken hold. It's potential benefits include strengthening of the feet and leg muscles, possibly resulting in fewer injuries, and it encourages footfalls on the forefoot as opposed to heel strike. Critics say that minimalist shoes, and especially barefoot running, are impractical and dangerous because of human adaptation to shoes and the lack of support, cushioning, and stability. It also seems like it would just plain hurt. Traditional running shoes: these include all the basic brands and styles, anywhere from extra cushioning to a neutral lightweight shoe. Typically accepted as the expected running footwear, these shoes have been popular throughout the history of running, albeit in different forms (movies such as Across the Tracks feature high performance runners in Converse-- classy stuff). Benefits are the ability of shoes to correct and supplement the feet and are commonly accepted by the running community. Some, however, argue that allowing shoes to supplement feet weakens them and will ultimately lead to more injury. The third way: Sorry for the shout out to Tony Blair, but I wasn't exactly sure how to categorize this novel footwear. Somewhere between a minimalist shoe and a traditional running shoe, they do away with much of the heel structure and cushioning and focus on the forefoot. Newtons popularized this method, claiming that it encouraged a more natural stride while not compromising the traditional benefits of a full fledged shoe. Many people swear by them and believe they can help both form and speed, but others aren't able to make the switch to primarily toe running. I personally tried them once and didn't like the change they affected in my stride or the calf soreness that came with it, but I can see how different runners would really like them. In all, the shoe issue has not been resolved and will continue to be the focus of debates. I, for one, will stick to traditional shoes, but I hope this discussion gave a bit of enlightenment on the subject as a whole!

Surprise surprise!

Some days are just terrible.  Some days just rock.  Others are terrible and then suddenly, unexpectedly, start to rock.  Today was that kind of day.  It was hot, I had yet another AP test, and I was not at all excited to race.  In fact, walking up the five steps to the community center for testing left me out of  breath and awakened my legs to their utter exhaustion.  I don't think it's the running, I think my body is just breaking down from all the taxation it's experienced.  Nonetheless, I boarded the bus to the meet and dutifully cheered on all my lovely ladies until it was time to warm up.  Now, sitting in the warm sun and reminiscing about past and potential summers, feeling far away from any sense of competition, and completely content to just sit on the turf soaking up some vitamin D is not conducive to any desire to race.  In fact, by the time of my warm up, I just wanted to melt into the long grass and assimilate with the sun-worshiping blades of grass, forget about the world around me, and go into a complacent coma.  This didn't end up happening, though, and I suddenly found myself near the starting line conversing with a sweet older woman and the girls from our competing teams.  The woman herself would have made my day; she was so sweet and complimentary of the dedication of the two milers, telling us that it was "such a healthy race!"  Well, it doesn't feel so healthy sometimes, but I wasn't going to rain on her parade.  In addition, as one team walked up to check in, I recognized a girl I've raced with consistently for the past couple of years.  She's always been slightly faster than I am, and I love racing with her because she's dependable for pacing.  We said hi, talked a bit about our seasons, and compared goals for the day.  It was really cool to see how tentative friendships can form in the midst of competition.  Even more inspiring, however, was our interaction at the starting line.  In the midst of the mayhem, I heard her ask her teammate to pray.  I felt an inclination to join in, so I asked if my teammate and I could.  She said a quick graceful but unadorned prayer and ewe began our race.  It was such a small event but nonetheless felt very inspiring.  All these seeds of kindness and connection growing in the garden of a hectic life.

The race itself went well, too.  We ran consistent splits and had respectable times coming in first and second.  It was even slightly fun, except for the body check aimed my way on the third lap.  The real success, though, came after I got home from the meet.  I was in the midst of folding some flour into a batter when I saw my phone light up.  My coach's name was on the screen, so I quick tucked the phone under my chin and continued folding while I listened to see what she had to say.

I MADE CONFERENCE!!!

This isn't a huge deal in the grand scope of successful high school runners, but I am completely psyched seeing as I had no expectation of making it.  It was a distant goal tucked in the back of my mind, not allowed to the forefront for fear of disappointment.  But what do you know, fortune smiled and I get to run (at the back of the pack) in the conference race.  And I couldn't be more excited.

I feel like I've been saying this constantly, but every time I feel on the brink of a complete breakdown, some occurrence or series of events helps me get through the next phase of the journey.  These weeks have been hectic and challenging, but then a day like today comes along and reminds me that people look for a silver lining because, usually, there is one.  For me, it's come in the form of running, baking, and the lovely people that keep me going.

Green thumbs up

Yet another activity to add to my plate: gardening. Ive been thinking about it for s while now, wanting to start a small vegetable patch from whence to harvest some crisp, fresh ingredients. Finally, I have begun to put my plan into action. It all began when I was looking around my fridge for some cauliflower. I wanted to make this really tasty looking vegetable primavera with cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini, and a number of fresh herbs. I already have home grown basil, cilantro, and rosemary available as the fruits of my mother's labor, and the thought of being able to cook with my own raw vegetables as well was enticing. I put the idea on the back burner, however, and buckled down to prepare for these few overwhelming weeks. After my calculus test today, however, I was in dire need of decompression, and the open air, methodical prospect of gardening seemed to glow on the horizon until I finally surrendered and began to plan my assault on nature. Yes, this will be a violent attempt by someone with distinctively non-green thumbs to finagle something edible out of the ground, I am sure, but can I really be faulted for wanting to try my hand at yet another distinctively domestic but very alluring, therapeutic pastimes? I think not. So, we'll see how this endeavor ends up, but no matter the outcome, it has already been worth the excitement of planning where to place my tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. And if all else fails, Cub foods is always there to catch my fall. On another note, today's run was a bit uncomfortable. Not because we were going fast, seeing as the relaxed lope for an easy 3 miles was very easy due to the meet tomorrow. It was painful because I had a bowl of cookie n cream ice cream before practice. I should have learned my lesson by now, but I really cant have ice cream before I run-- it messes with my stomach and I cramp up after about thirty seconds of jogging. Not good. Tomorrow, I'll have to remember not to jeopardize my race with any impromptu snacks too close to when I run. I'm psyched for the two mile, and am hoping to get around 12:40. I should get some sleep to prepare for a long day, but I'll check back in with an update on my race tomorrow. Happy running, and sleeping!

Short and sweet

Sixteen minutes. That was the total duration of today's run. While I was not particularly inclined to do more, this pleasant surprise has me curious and slightly concerned. While I understand the need to taper, I didn't expect it to come this soon, but I guess that's part of the track season. Really only about eight weeks long, it comes short and sweet, like one of those butterscotch hard candies that once on the tongue dissolve within moments no matter how much you try to savor it. In the end, it's impossible to prolong the taste, and it's better that way; too much of the intense sweetness would just sour the taste. This is how I've been feeling about track. It is truly exhausting to always want something more, feel the need to be better, but to have no ability to reach the goal I'm aiming for. This is also what I love, a challenge like none other, but trying too hard for too long breaks me down. At this point, with a breakthrough cross country season and two more seasons of pouring my heart into just about everything, there is not much left to give. This is as it should be, but it tells me that the end had better be in sight. Despite this, I am conflicted over the sudden taper. Maybe I'm used to just pounding out more miles to get faster, and maybe this period of rest will really help me cut time. Maybe I need a couple days to muster up the intensity I need to round out this final season. I hope so, and am looking forward to seeing what happens. On another note, my blog is coming along fabulously! Thank you all for reading, especially my supportive and lovely teammates. I couldn't ask for better competitors and friends. As we approach 400 viewers (woohoo!)I wanted to take just a moment to acknowledge your support. So once again, thank you thank you thank you for supporting my somewhat nerdy endeavor. It's been really fun and very good for me, and I look forward to continuing. With that, I will conclude, seeing as I need my rest for the terrible trifecta to come.

Payback time

Finally, the week is here!  Everything I've been working towards for the past couple months comes to a head in these next couple days: AP tests, finals, and the last opportunity to get a bid in time for conference.  The last one is a stretch, but with the season coming to a close, this is the time I've been waiting oh-so-patiently for.  During our workout today, that was my focus.  We set out today for a warm-up run, knowing about the 200s, 100, and 1200 we were in for.  Oddly, however, I was excited to tackle both some speed and race pace intervals.

The warm-up not only prepared me physically, but I felt that I also was able to mentally bring in my focus.  My new favorite position during warm-ups is to hang at the back of the pack.  Letting the conversation drift back to me, settling in and letting the girls pull me along, not having to talk but being able to chime in-- that is my form of relaxation.  With occasional snippets of interaction to break up short periods of meditation, I was able to move past the schoolwork and stress and gain a drive to work hard to tackle the next thing on my plate.  I guess that's one reason I love running:  it helps me compartmentalize and gives me a break from existing solely in my mind.

That was another refreshing thing about today, the way this run was almost out of body.  I finally gained an escape from the complex tangle of my overstretched thoughts.  With calculus and the Cold War and poetic devices all battling for supremacy, it was liberating to focus merely on the movement of my feet and the position of my arms, completely removed from the world of the intellectuals.  During our 200s I felt the wind hit me as I turned the curve and welcomed it rather than resisted.  It felt raw and inscrutable, contrary to how my life has felt for the last couple weeks.

In all, it was a successful workout.  But more than that, it helped relieve some of the stress I've been under.  And, as of now, I feel that my preparation for this week is adequate.  All that's left is to see how well I can perform, and I'm curious and excited to finally complete the trials I've been working towards.

In celebration of reaching the cusp of completion, I made chocolate peanut butter cookie bars!  Here's the recipe!

Ingredients (Courtesy Sugary Sweets)

• 1 cup butter, softened

• 3/4 cup brown sugar

• 1 cup sugar

• 2 eggs

• 2 Tbsp milk

• 2 tsp vanilla extract

• 2 cup flour

• 1/2 cup dark chocolate cocoa powder

• 1 tsp baking soda

• 1/2 tsp salt

• 15 oz peanut butter morsels, divided

• 1 cup Reese's pieces candies

Instructions
Beat butter and sugars for 3 minutes. Add eggs, milk and vanilla. Add in flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt. Mix completely. Fold in 10 oz peanut butter chips and Reese's pieces candy.
Spread dough (with fingertips) into a large cookie sheet. Bake in a 375 degree oven for 18-20 minutes. Remove and cool. Cut into 24 bars.
Melt remaining peanut butter chips according to package directions (I used the microwave at 30 second intervals). Put melted chips into a ziploc sandwich bag, snip off the corner and drizzle over cooled cookie bars. Allow to set, about 15 minutes. Enjoy!