SUCCESS!!!  I am finally happy with a meet; today was a good day to be a runner.  The initial butterflies were much more intense, starting early last night, owing to my 400 meter debut.  My running style is much more geared to longer races, and my sprinter friends literally laugh when I try to do anything shorter than an 800-- I just don't have the form or the strength.  Which is why, when told I was in an open 400 today, my stomach dropped past my pinky toenail.  All throughout this morning I dreaded the inevitable last place I'd finish in.  As I walked up to the starting line the fear coursing through me was palpable.  I don't thin I'd ever been that nervous in m life.  My coach noticed this and pulled me aside.

"It's just for practice.  This isn't your race, just run it like an interval," was her advice.  This, however, did nothing to ease my anxiety.

It may seem irrational to be literally afraid of running a race.  Even more outlandish is my fear of running a 400, a single lap.  But this was the single biggest blow to my pride I've ever experienced when running.  I'm at least competitive in the longer races, but this event would but my lack of speed on public display, not to mention that boys were present, and, most mortifying of all, it is a highly popular race to watch.  All things considered, I knew that I'd be luck to come out with any ego at all.  Nonetheless, this was probably exactly what I needed to take some pressure off myself.

The race passed in a blur that I honestly can't remember.  I came in second to last, but managed to scrape by a decent enough time for what was, essentially, a workout.  This experience was actually exactly the mental hammer I needed to smash the walls I'd been building.  I tend to talk myself into needing to be at least good at everything I do.  Aside from being unrealistic, this is just plain unhealthy.  I really needed something I was horrible at to show me that the world keeps turning even if you fail.  Running is such a mental game for me and I love the feeling of being challenged.  In a world obsessed with stroking our egos and maintaining our self esteem, this experience brought me down a couple notches and reminded me that the sun doesn't rise for me, and the world will not shatter in the absence of my excellence.  All in all, I am content with the results of the 400.

Then came the 3200.

I had been psyched to run this race since December.  When the weather refused to adopt any semblance of winter, my drive to run came back as bad as ever.  I put in plenty of miles but failed to keep up my speed, but even so, I've started this season out on a good note.  I won't go into the actual two mile race... Eight laps on the track is boring enough in real life, not to mention being described over the internet.  My only comment is that I did, indeed, set a personal record in the first outdoor meet of the season and felt very strong during the race.  I will, however, stress the importance of keeping focus in a distance and endurance competition.

In past years my weakness lie in my inability to keep a pace for the middle 4 laps of the 3200.  This wasn't necessarily fatigue; I merely got bored and distracted.  The cures for mid-race mental blocks are actually very simple.  I have compiled a succinct list of the tips I've heard:

1)Take 10 quick steps.  This breaks up the monotony of the run and gives the body a jolt to keep it from settling into a comfortable pace
2)Develop a mantra.  this is a very simple series of words that inspires you and can help you push towards a goal.  Mine is, "bigger, stronger, faster."
3)Run with someone. This seems obvious and slightly difficult, but if you have someone running at your goal pace, their head bobbing in front of you is a good goal to dial in on.
4)Throw out the watch.  This may sound crazy, but when I stop focusing on splits I feel less confined and more able to run how I feel, compete with other runners, and ultimately stay mentally engaged.

Whatever floats your boat is ultimately the best bet in staying motivated to run and race.

Another great motivation: baked goods.  We are going to change gears for my first official recipe roundup.  Here are my favorite post-race rewards!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/beattys-chocolate-cake-recipe/index.html
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/lemon-bars-recipe/index.html
http://www.beantownbaker.com/2012/02/cherry-m-chocolate-chip-oatmeal-cookies.html
http://www.beantownbaker.com/2012/02/salted-caramel-pecan-brownies.html

I'm a fan of chocolate.  So try these recipes out!  Hopefully soon I'll have an actual recipe post for you, but at this point in time life is just a little too crazy for that.

That's all I have for today.  I'm signing off, one very contented runner.