Pushing through

I woke up today feeling absolutely terrible. I had the chills but my forehead felt hot to the touch. A consultation with the thermometer told me that I really should stay home and try to kick the sickness before it got worse, but at this point I can't take a day off. AP tests are coming, and the season is just starting to pick up aped. Thus, I trucked it through a monotonous but stressful day of school and continued on to track. Surprisingly, I was consistently 15 seconds under pace, and this was sustainable for the full three thousand intervals we did. The four hundreds hurt, as well as the two hundreds, but I attribute that to the ibuprofen sapping the water from my body and making my head pound. All in all, it was a day to simply tough it out, which proved to be achievable. To make up for this discomfort, I had some homemade twix bars. Here's the recipe (courtesy of ME... Yup, it's original!)

 Ingredients
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 sticks butter
2 eggs
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups plus 2 tbsp flour
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup brown sugar
3-4 tbsp milk
1/2 cup sugar
1 tbsp cocoa powder
1 cup chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat sugars and butter. Add eggs one at a time, until mixture is smooth. Beat in soda, salt, and vanilla. Fold in flour. Press dough into ungreased 19x9 inch pan and bake for 12 minutes or until edges are brown. Meannwhile, simmer sweetened condensed milk and brown sugar, bringing just to a boil until sugar dissolves. Continue cooking but do not burn, until mixture thickens, about 5 minutes. Set aside to cool. Microwave milk and sugar one minute until sugar is dissolved. Allow to cool, whisking in cocoa until smooth. Once cooled to a warm but not hot temperature, pour over the chocolate chips, attiring to melt. Pour Carmel mixture over cooled cookie bars and freeze for 10 minutes to set. Then top with the chocolate mixture and let cool to set. Enjoy!

It really is insane

The tv seems riddled with these new infomercials about something called Insanity. With the new fitness craze, I tend to judge each program as a temporary solution to a mid life crisis. This may sound incredibly judgemental, but try marching in place for an hour and listening to a Lulu Lemon-clad woman tell you to feel the burn and you might get a bit cynical too. Why have I even had this experience? During my recovery from a stress fracture I did a couple to get back in the swing of things, but then decided I'd be better off spending my time elsewhere. However, with all the hype I've seen concerning the Insanity workouts, I was curious. I love infomercials, as nerdy as that sounds. They're actually pretty entertaining, especially the Magic Bullet. I came across the Insanity program while flipping through channels and heard a claim that it was the hardest workout a man had completed. He looked pretty fit, six pack abs popping out of a forty-year old stomach. A little grody to see, but it backed up his statements about the workout. My family was discussing the new craze at dinner, and my mom knew a man who'd really succeeded using the program. I was curious purely because I wondered if it really was that hard. My mom started trash talking the whole craze and implying it would be no problem for someone seasoned in pilates and running. Naturally, we decided to try it when we got the chance. I got the opportunity this morning and couldn't pass it up, despite the fact it was a rest day. I excused it as a light effort to loosen up my body post-race and work on some strength to prevent injury. It couldn't be that difficult... Psych. Twenty minutes in I was sweating and had pitied my heart rate through the roof. As I hopped around gritting my teeth and listening to Shaun T growl at me to move faster, I realized that this workout truly is insane. Reconsidering even participating in it, I knew that I should probably stop both to notnupset my track training and to maintain any semblance of dignity, but at that point, it was too late. Completing the dang thing was a pride issue, and I would not be defeated. When the circuits finally came to an end, I was both relieved and oddly proud. I could see how this program would catch on with a group of people really seeking to get fit. And what's more, it was really fun. Yes, I felt goofy flailing around, but it was really entertaining. If I weren't running track, I would definitely try to complete the program just to say that I did. As it is, I think I'm going to incorperate some insanity into my pre-Nordic season training. If you're not in a sport or on a team at the moment, I would definitely suggest giving Insanity a try. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how difficult it is, and love the sense of accomplishment afterwards. And, like running, it really is insane.

Yet another miserable meet inspired many complaints about the track season.  Ideally, I would have woken up, run a nice, relaxing pace through the sheltering foliage of my favorite park, and continued home to steam up my bathroom mirror with a scalding shower. As luck would have it, I got to spend a good five hours in a public gym dreading the inevitably painful two mile.  Icy cold rain battered our team as we cheered on our runners, but our yells were initially compromised as they were carried by the wind.  The first half was in all honesty pretty miserable, and I couldn't help but dread running eight laps in the chilling dampness.  I can admit it, I actually really live the 3200.  It's a better length for me than the mile, merely because I like to keep a strong pace for a longer time rather than feeling the pressure of a shorter race.  Today, however, I was in a really funky state.  For some reason, I have been putting myself under the impression that this was my one and only chance to prove myself in the two mile.  Though we have plenty more meets, I psyched myself into believing I had one chance and one chance only.  In the poor conditions, I was mortified that I wouldn't have the chance I'd hoped for.  On the one hand, I wanted to race in order to have a chance at all.  On the other, what if the conditions ruined my race and I absolutely choked?  With this confusion spinning in my head, girls packing up to leave the meet early because of the weather, and complaints all around, I finally broke down.  I'm embarrassed to say there were even some tears.  What my coach told me, however, is that I need to look in the direction I want to go.  My nordic coach gave me the same advice, albeit on a more literal level.  Universally, though, the self-fulfilling prophesy is all too common-- once we start to believe something, we limit ourselves to our expectations.  I found this very similar to the lesson from The Art of Racing in the Rain: that which you manifest is before you.  If you yourself believe in your own limitations, or expect the worst, chances are you will comply with being limited or accept the worst.  With that, my coach told me to make a choice about my race.  I could either put the confusion and stress behind me and focus on lap after lap, or I could dwell on the elements out of my control and allow my race to follow that mentality down the drain.  As we set out for our warm up, I decided on the former.  I can't tell if it was the switch in my mindset or if the weather truly let up, but as we went out onto the track to race the wind seemed lighter, the rain seemed softer, and the gray skies weren't quite so crushing.  It was crazy how much my experience resembled the philosophy of both my coaches.

It ended up being a PR, which was very satisfying.  to celebrate, I came home and had some delicious brownies a la mode.  Here's the recipe, if anyone's interested! (Courtesy Alton Brown)

Ingredients

• Soft butter, for greasing the pan
• Flour, for dusting the buttered pan
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup sugar, sifted
• 1 cup brown sugar, sifted
• 8 ounces melted butter
• 11/4 cups cocoa, sifted
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup flour, sifted
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Directions

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F. Butter and flour an 8-inch square pan.

In a mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat the eggs at medium speed until fluffy and light yellow. Add both sugars. Add remaining ingredients, and mix to combine.

Pour the batter into a greased and floured 8-inch square pan and bake for 45 minutes. Check for doneness with the tried-and-true toothpick method: a toothpick inserted into the center of the pan should come out clean. When it's done, remove to a rack to cool. Resist the temptation to cut into it until it's mostly cool.

Stimulating conversation

The girls on my team never cease to amaze me. Coming out of the doldrums of this week, I finally felt motivated to run these past two days. Typical of my team, they have managed to get me into the spirit again, and not because of intense motivational talks or inspiring quips-- no, they have reinvigorated my drive to participate just through their quirky ways. I've always loved easy runs where I can settle in and listen to the wide range of topics swirling around me. It's so relaxing to listen to someone else's problems as opposed to ruminating on my own. To make it even more fun, the girls never fail to make me laugh. Interestingly, but not surprising, we settled onto the topic of quantum physics today and he theory of the universe, matter, time, and a slough of other abstract but enticingly mind-blowing concepts. I let myself settle into the middle of the pack, soaking up the information the seniors let fall back on my ears. It was actually one of the most stimulating conversations vie been privy to in the last couple months, including school lectures. While I'm not going to summarize each of the complex points made, the point is that having a group, or even just a single running buddy, can make the experience of running invigorating as opposed to draining. On another note, I have begun to try to invigorate myself for saturday's race. In addition to baking and looking up inspirational running quotes, which I'm now receiving daily from runnersworld.com, I made myself a new race day playlist. For your listening pleasure, here are the songs I've selected. 1) Shake It Out (Florence + the Machin>e 2) Winner (not sure of the artist) 3) Call Me Maybe (Carly Rae Jepsen) 4) Jailer (Asa) 5) Payphone (Maroon 5) 6) feel So Close (Calvin Harris) 7) Stronger (Kanye) 8) Better With the Lights Off (New Boyz) 9) Blackout 10) young, Wild, and Free. While these may not be super intense songs, they're songs that put me in a calm but motivated mood to race. On a side note, I never run to music because no matter what it interferes with my pace.

Double the fun

After sleeping off my mediocre race, I feel that my mentality has shifted.  It's happened before: that small switch in outlook that tints the world in new colors, ultimately throwing it both out of whack and into clarity.  Eventually, this novel perception wears off and things revert to a seemingly normal state, but that tiny alteration permanently remodels the way we live our lives.  As I fell asleep last night, I kept thinking about the way I had run my race.  For the most part, my splits were even and I felt comfortably strong.  This would be good in a workout, but it is not the way to run a race.  Complacency leaves no room for victory.  However... I have decided that in a mile race, while I will still run it as a race, I will regard it afterwards as a workout.  This means no guilt, self-deprecation, or wallowing in disappointment.  Traditionally I allow myself 24 hours after a race to feel either elation or depression, but in the midst of my limited time for moping, I had a realization.  Similar to what my coach said to me yesterday, and what my CC coach repeated all year, I must have a short memory.  My big revelation, however, is that I can choose an attitude for myself that shortens my memory and makes it work for my own benefit as opposed to dragging me down.  It sounds complicated, but here is my reasoning.  There are a couple of options for dealing with races. During the race, all bets are off.  However, especially for the mile, I have the ability to go into each race with a mindset of my choice.  I could decide that since it's an open JV race, it really doesn't mean much and I shouldn't try, but that's not who I am.  On the other hand, I am having trouble pushing myself to the brink life I did during CC.  My solution, since the mile is not my event of choice, is to use it in retrospect to shape my two mile.  This means examining how I felt during the race, the pace I was running, and committing it to memory.  Then I can assess if I could repeat that race for the second mile of a two mile.  Running a slightly faster mile will ultimately be helpful in my two mile.  Thus, while these miles are important, I can see them as training, while puts me in a better mental state concerning my season as a whole.  As my coach told me, I can't get fed up with training because I'm not seeing results.  This choice in how I regard my mile races will ultimately take the pressure I put on myself away from destructive self-criticism and put it towards achieving goals in the race I love.  To celebrate this, I made myself some cookies.  Here's the recipe, you really should try them.  They're great for celebrating a new outlook, but a new perspective isn't necessary to enjoy them!

Chocolate Brownie Cookies (Courtesy Allrecipes.com)

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup shortening
• 1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup baking cocoa
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Directions

1. In a large mixing bowl, cream shortening, sugar, water and vanilla. Beat in eggs. Combine flour, cocoa, salt and baking soda; gradually add to creamed mixture and beat just until blended. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts if desired. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls 2 in. apart on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 375 degrees F for 7-9 minutes; do not overbake. Cool 2 minutes before removing to wire racks.

A little bit longer

To say I'm disappointed in my race just scratches the surface. I've been in the doldrums now for a number of days, stressing about AP tests, plateauing races, and just general inadequacy. I know this is silly, since theree is no way I can excel at so many different things withoutnfinally bursting my seams, but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to take these high expectations off of my own shoulders. I'm a perfectionist, so when I do mediocre to poor work in any area it's a real struggle. And lately, there has been a bit too much mediocrity. There seems to be a mental barrier whenever I run the mile. I. Cant quite grasp the idea of running as fast as possible for four laps. Really, I should be able to cut off at least 10 seconds from my mile time, but I can't seem to break the mental fear of pain. There are shackles around my mind that command my legs to cool off, save themselves for the sixth and seventh laps that never come. In all, it's been a huge frustration. Sensing my anxiety, my coach talked to me for a while about my race and season after I cooled down. I felt jittery, like I just wanted to run away during the whole conversation. It wasn't because I wa scared, or bored, or even just preoccupied. No, I rralized that the complex emotions running throughnme in the wake of the adrenaline were all tingednwith embarrassment. I so desperately want to be good, and flopping under my own dreams is really a test of self confidence. I think my coach realized this; her main message was to continue training like I have been and be patient enough to see results. She stressed the importance of staying mentally tough, and the fact that it would make me a better runner in the long run. Though these are the kind of typical words any teacher or coach or even a parent may say, she really had a point. Running is a completely mental sport. While propelling each foot forward in the heat of the moment plays a big part, it's also important to remember that mindset outsid eof races is important. Yes, you may plateau. Yes, some races will just not go your way. And yes, some days you will be sore, stiff, tired, bored, discouraged, self-deprecating... But the true athlete will conquer these negative thoughts not only in the intensity of the race but daily. It's easy to stay motivated hen you feel on top of the world. It's more difficult, butnalso more rewarding, to stay strong in the long months of a plateau.

A couple of favorites

Due the insane amount of work I have to do before tomorrow, I decided to simply round up a couple of my favorite training related sites! Here's a quick overview. Mapmyrun.com- this site provides a tool to find the mileage of your run. Just click the map to create your route and the site will tell you how far you've run. While it may not be precise to the extent of a gps watch, it is a great free alternative. Runnersworld.com- this online counterpart the magazine has great archives on just about anything running related. It's one downfall is that it's geared more towards road racing adults. Webmd.com- yes, I frequent this site. It has great info on staying healthy, which is integral to running well. I use the symptom checker if I have a nagging pain, check out the benefits of supplements, and look up any other health concerns. Flotrack.com- geared towards the high intensity, very competitive running community and it's fans. It's inspiring and interesting to see the results and stories of high profile runners. Bonus: it also allows you to track your mikes, speeds, and workouts! beantownbaker.com, smittenkitchen.com, foodnetwork.com, and bakingbites.com- of course, running necessitates tasty food. Poke around these sites food inspiration tom cook something amazing to fuel your next run! That's all vie got for tonight! Happy running, and surfing!