A little bit longer

To say I'm disappointed in my race just scratches the surface. I've been in the doldrums now for a number of days, stressing about AP tests, plateauing races, and just general inadequacy. I know this is silly, since theree is no way I can excel at so many different things withoutnfinally bursting my seams, but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to take these high expectations off of my own shoulders. I'm a perfectionist, so when I do mediocre to poor work in any area it's a real struggle. And lately, there has been a bit too much mediocrity. There seems to be a mental barrier whenever I run the mile. I. Cant quite grasp the idea of running as fast as possible for four laps. Really, I should be able to cut off at least 10 seconds from my mile time, but I can't seem to break the mental fear of pain. There are shackles around my mind that command my legs to cool off, save themselves for the sixth and seventh laps that never come. In all, it's been a huge frustration. Sensing my anxiety, my coach talked to me for a while about my race and season after I cooled down. I felt jittery, like I just wanted to run away during the whole conversation. It wasn't because I wa scared, or bored, or even just preoccupied. No, I rralized that the complex emotions running throughnme in the wake of the adrenaline were all tingednwith embarrassment. I so desperately want to be good, and flopping under my own dreams is really a test of self confidence. I think my coach realized this; her main message was to continue training like I have been and be patient enough to see results. She stressed the importance of staying mentally tough, and the fact that it would make me a better runner in the long run. Though these are the kind of typical words any teacher or coach or even a parent may say, she really had a point. Running is a completely mental sport. While propelling each foot forward in the heat of the moment plays a big part, it's also important to remember that mindset outsid eof races is important. Yes, you may plateau. Yes, some races will just not go your way. And yes, some days you will be sore, stiff, tired, bored, discouraged, self-deprecating... But the true athlete will conquer these negative thoughts not only in the intensity of the race but daily. It's easy to stay motivated hen you feel on top of the world. It's more difficult, butnalso more rewarding, to stay strong in the long months of a plateau.