Yet another miserable meet inspired many complaints about the track season.  Ideally, I would have woken up, run a nice, relaxing pace through the sheltering foliage of my favorite park, and continued home to steam up my bathroom mirror with a scalding shower. As luck would have it, I got to spend a good five hours in a public gym dreading the inevitably painful two mile.  Icy cold rain battered our team as we cheered on our runners, but our yells were initially compromised as they were carried by the wind.  The first half was in all honesty pretty miserable, and I couldn't help but dread running eight laps in the chilling dampness.  I can admit it, I actually really live the 3200.  It's a better length for me than the mile, merely because I like to keep a strong pace for a longer time rather than feeling the pressure of a shorter race.  Today, however, I was in a really funky state.  For some reason, I have been putting myself under the impression that this was my one and only chance to prove myself in the two mile.  Though we have plenty more meets, I psyched myself into believing I had one chance and one chance only.  In the poor conditions, I was mortified that I wouldn't have the chance I'd hoped for.  On the one hand, I wanted to race in order to have a chance at all.  On the other, what if the conditions ruined my race and I absolutely choked?  With this confusion spinning in my head, girls packing up to leave the meet early because of the weather, and complaints all around, I finally broke down.  I'm embarrassed to say there were even some tears.  What my coach told me, however, is that I need to look in the direction I want to go.  My nordic coach gave me the same advice, albeit on a more literal level.  Universally, though, the self-fulfilling prophesy is all too common-- once we start to believe something, we limit ourselves to our expectations.  I found this very similar to the lesson from The Art of Racing in the Rain: that which you manifest is before you.  If you yourself believe in your own limitations, or expect the worst, chances are you will comply with being limited or accept the worst.  With that, my coach told me to make a choice about my race.  I could either put the confusion and stress behind me and focus on lap after lap, or I could dwell on the elements out of my control and allow my race to follow that mentality down the drain.  As we set out for our warm up, I decided on the former.  I can't tell if it was the switch in my mindset or if the weather truly let up, but as we went out onto the track to race the wind seemed lighter, the rain seemed softer, and the gray skies weren't quite so crushing.  It was crazy how much my experience resembled the philosophy of both my coaches.

It ended up being a PR, which was very satisfying.  to celebrate, I came home and had some delicious brownies a la mode.  Here's the recipe, if anyone's interested! (Courtesy Alton Brown)

Ingredients

• Soft butter, for greasing the pan
• Flour, for dusting the buttered pan
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup sugar, sifted
• 1 cup brown sugar, sifted
• 8 ounces melted butter
• 11/4 cups cocoa, sifted
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup flour, sifted
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Directions

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F. Butter and flour an 8-inch square pan.

In a mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat the eggs at medium speed until fluffy and light yellow. Add both sugars. Add remaining ingredients, and mix to combine.

Pour the batter into a greased and floured 8-inch square pan and bake for 45 minutes. Check for doneness with the tried-and-true toothpick method: a toothpick inserted into the center of the pan should come out clean. When it's done, remove to a rack to cool. Resist the temptation to cut into it until it's mostly cool.